


Heaven

by NamarieElessar



Category: City of Heavenly Fire, Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, the secret treasons
Genre: Fluff, M/M, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-27 20:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1722026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamarieElessar/pseuds/NamarieElessar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert Lightwood reflects about his life during Jocelyn and Luke's wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> I may have warped details to meet my selfish purposes.On a more serious note it contains Cohf spoilers.  
> Also if you're wondering were the poem is from ill have you know its from a song called "Heaven" by Emeli Sandé.  
> Enjoy please comment i need some feedback. Thanks.

Oh heaven, oh heaven  
I wake with good intentions  
Oh heaven, oh heaven  
I wake with good intentions  
But the day always lasts too long

Robert was sitting alone in a table a bit withdrawn from everyone else as he watched the guests at Jocelyn’s and Luke’s wedding moving around, making polite talk and laughing and generally having fun. Robert couldn’t bring himself to cheer up and mingle with the rest of the guests, weddings had never really been a pleasant experience for him , not in the slightest, in all the wedding he had attended he had never seen true love (not counting this one only a fool would fail to see how in love Jocelyn and Luke were, but then again the mundane world was different), sure people were bright in their gold robes and dresses, indeed people praised the bond of marriage to no end but he knew better, most of the times marriage was more of political thing than anything else, the great Shadowhunter families married other great Shadowhunter families to ensure the Clave did what they wanted it to do. He should know better than most after all his own marriage hadn’t been out of love and if he needed another clear reminder of that he only had to look at Maryse’s cold stares she threw at him every other moment. Cold stares he deserved. Cold stares were all his family threw at him these days. Isabelle hated him because of what he had done. Alec hated him because he thought he didn’t accept him when in fact he was jealous. Yes, it is perhaps a cruel thought, feeling jealous of his own child whom he loved and wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. But he was jealous every time he saw his son with the warlock Magnus Bane. He was jealous because everyone was accepting of them and looked at them with fondness and not even with a hint of disgust. He had had a love too, Michael Wayland, his parabatai, his other half. Sometimes he would still dream of the kisses they had trade, how Michael lay his head on his lap filing the quietness of the forest with stories of how they would both runway to someplace the Clave and the Circle couldn’t reach and Robert had wanted to believe him, wanted to find a place where he would be able to not have to hide his affections. And then everything went to hell when his parents forced him to marry Maryse Trueblood, Michael had been forced to marry as well and the time they could spend together was never enough. But that doesn’t matter now, the rest is history, my love is dead, I’m a new person now, Robert thought bitterly.

In reality he wasn’t, he had still only loved one person, he still wanted to run away, he still wanted Michael by his side and he still wanted most of all to be accepted. He felt the something moist in his eyes and he knew he was crying. By the angel, he thought, Robert Lightwood the silent, all muscles no brains crying if my mother could see me now. If she could she would have beaten the tears out of him. Shadowhunters are not allowed to cry, she used to say. Magnus and Alec were near a tree, talking, smiling and suddenly he had a reason to smile too, his son was happy, his son who was braver than he would ever be was there with person he fought for so hard and all Robert had been doing was retreating to his memories of Michael only to torture himself with things that would never happen. He wiped his eyes and got up. He knew that he wouldn’t ever forgive the all those who had been between him and Michael, he knew he would never get him back but goddamn he knew he couldn’t let those things cloud his love for his children and so as he made his way towards his son and Magnus he swore he would not let Alexander and Isabelle end up like him, unhappy, unfinished and incomplete in the most terrible way.

Oh heaven, oh heaven  
I wake with good intentions  
Oh heaven, oh heaven  
I wake with good intentions


End file.
